Healthy Boundaries

Do you have compassion fatigue?

Empaths are highly sensitive, intuitive and feel/absorb other’s emotions.  But the downside of this personality trait is that you can become overwhelmed with emotions and are more prone to get anxiety, depression, chronic fatigue, addictions or binging on things that bring you temporary comfort.  We have all had a time where we feel so consumed that we have to seek an escapism to counteract the emotional imbalance; whether it’s sauv blanc, Hagaan Daas, cigarettes, a one-night-stand, social media addiction or anything else that distracts and gives us a temporary lift of spirits.  The ‘high’ is generally short-lived and then the guilt kicks in!

Once you recognise you are an empath, you can centre yourself and prevent yourself from becoming overloaded.  I have found Reiki to be a salvation at bringing me into balance and harmony, but it is also essential to maintain personal boundaries.  Boundaries are vital to having heathy relationships because they communicate that we have self-respect, self-worth, and will not allow others to define us.

Personal boundaries are the physical, emotional and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used or violated by others. They allow us to separate what we feel from the thoughts and feelings of others. Boundaries allow us to express ourselves unique individuals, while we acknowledge the same in others. To set personal boundaries means to preserve your integrity, take responsibility for who you are, and to take control of your life.

Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries:-

• Going against personal values or rights in order to please others
• Giving as much as you can for the sake of giving
• Taking as much as you can for the sake of taking
• Letting others define you
• Expecting others to fill your needs automatically
• Feeling bad or guilty when you say no
• Not speaking up when you are treated poorly
• Falling apart so someone can take care of you (victim mentality)
• Falling “in love” with someone you barely know
• Accepting advances and sex that you don’t want

How do we establish healthy personal boundaries?

• Know that you have a right to personal boundaries and take responsibility for how you allow others to treat you.  Have a strong sense of identity.
• Recognize that other people’s needs and feelings are not more important than your own.
• Learn to say no.
• Identify the actions and behaviours that you find unacceptable by letting others know when they’ve crossed the line or acted inappropriately.
• Trust and believe in yourself.

Most importantly, love and respect yourself.  By honouring your own needs, others will respect you back and you will no longer feel guilty for putting yourself first.

I am a Counsellor, Hypnotherapist and Soul Coach in Aspendale and online.  I also provide reiki and intuitive healing to top up energy and rebalance the chakras if you are depleted. If you would like to find out more details about my services or workshops, please contact me on this link: www.andreafortune.com.au.